i am weak


i have no willpower whatsoever. this affects every aspect of my life as far as i can tell. i would like to make a promise to myself and keep it – just once. it would kickstart my heart and then maybe i would become the person i would like to be. do you think that’s possible? to change who you are without some sort of life-altering experience as impetus? hell, i think i even had the life-altering experience. well, all i can do is keep trying, yes? this week-end, however, has been one of disappointing myself on so many levels. grrr…

One thought on “i am weak

  1. I think it’s possible, just not on the rate you’d want it to be.

    If you keep wanting to change in a certain direction and you actually try at least a little, you’ll find yourself making little baby steps toward it. If you look back to last week or even last month you’ll see no change but 5 years from now you’ll realize you really did achieve your goal as long as you keep wanting it.

    That said, willpower is one of the hardest because it’s a catch 22. You need willpower to stick with your goal but if you goal is to get willpower then you’d be screwed if you didn’t already have some. The upside though is that I think most people have much more willpower than they realize. I don’t exactly know when it happened, sometime in cegep maybe, but I pretty much always look at things in a relativist way now. It’s not do I have a lot of willpower but do I have more willpower than most. I think the average university student has a lot more willpower than they realize. It takes serious effort to stick with a long term commitment like higher education so don’t sell yourself short.

    If you keep moving towards what you want I’m sure you’ll eventually get there.

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