reason #1: why i am disappointed

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Wow. I hate this paper. I am honestly dreading remitting it in …. Five seconds; and done. Proof that I’m setting myself up to fall flat on my face: this paper is overly dependent on direct quotations from the secondary sources – I was unable to seamlessly integrate the thoughts together into coherent paragraphs. If there are other good students in this class, I am doomed. Today I don’t feel like writing an honours thesis, going to grad school or even finishing this four-year B.A. If I become a schoolteacher, it will inevitably be a bitter, washed-up one. I dreamt I was being berated by Sharon Nadeau, a girl one year older than I who was on the same bus for all of elementary and high school for missing the point entirely and over-simplifying the research. Just once, I would like to be able to do more than just skim indexes for references to my subject and actually read a complete publication.
I have an appointment to meet Prof. Gittes Thursday morning and we’re supposed to look at the corpus of correspondence he has in his home that might be relevant to my tentative research topic. I am about four weeks behind already and I haven’t even asked him to be my thesis supervisor yet…I was also supposed to plan out this week-end with Tim, but that’s not done either…thank god I left the sleeping pills at home (with my watch).
My apartment’s a mess. I didn’t make my bed this morning because I was busy folding the laundry in the dryer. Said laundry is sitting in a hamper on my bed. There is a tub of dirty dishes from my making of today’s lunch as well as the clean ones I washed yesterday piled in the drying rack. I forgot to put out the trash. I only slept six hours, and I find I’m better off to only sleep four if you can’t make it to seven. I may just take a nap in the library instead of actually doing my homework.
People have been hounding me on MSN. I know I’m online all the time, but if I’m not talking to you it’s because I am very busy and not feeling so great rather than my being mad or anti-social.

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