i keep waking up, eating breakfast and then going back to bed for another 2 hours. Today this meant sleeping in a parked car during the middle of the day. i was still tired at work. tonight i must correct an italian essay and an oral and read some more of ulysses.
today when i got to work i read outside on a blanket for a while (bringing a blanket in to work was one of the smartest things i have ever done. it is multi-purpose…including screaming “leave me the fuck alone” when i wrap myself up in it because i am feeling bad). i feel the need to share with you one of the greatest quotes of the 20th century i have yet encountered from a man we all love to hate: Sigmund Freud.
“The life imposed on us is too hard for us to bear: it brings too much pain, too many disappointments, too many insoluble problems. If we are to endure it, we cannot do it without palliative measures….powerful distractions…substitutive satisfactions…[or] intoxication” (Civilization and its Discontents, Chapter 2, 2nd paragraph).
Yup. it’s depressing, but it also provides a justification for getting shit-faced.
On another note, Dave Bellemare invited me out to get shit-faced with him next week. I know some of you will find that amusing. There was a time i would have killed for such an invitation, now i find it amusing…i will likely go just because i know a younger version of me would have died at the prospect. there are somethings that must be done for old-time’s sake. i don’t think i’ve changed that much since high school. Not compared to some other people i have met…but the way people react to me certainly has. i am as loud and obnoxious and in your face as ever…but it doesn’t scare people as much anymore. for those of you who did not know me back then, i had the worst crush on this guy for about 2 years straight in high school and he would flirt with me on the bus, but otherwise pretty much ignored my existence. i ran into him at a party about 2 weeks ago to discover he is (a) shorter and (b) skinnier than i remembered. it took him over twenty minutes to figure out who the girl who punched him in the back when he ignored her was and then was very upset because i had left the party for a couple of minutes…my friends were amused too. he ONLY sat next to me twice a day for 30 minutes for about 4 years.
This led to the realization that i have now been out of high school for longer than i was ever in it. Wow. that is a scary thought.