The motivations for this blog entry are many-fold. Firstly, i am waiting for Steve to show up at my house despite that i am trying to study to lend him $20. Secondly, i am hoping that in the time it will take to write this Dan will email me a part of an essay question for what i am studying for and then my work will be infinitely smaller. My class is overwhelming unappreciative of my willingness to share classnotes and study guides and i am, for the first time ever in my long history of sharing my work, regretting it. Thirdly, in an MSN conversation with “L-Dog,” as he so styled-himself in his last email, i promised to confess to the world my undying devotion to him and his godly body. Having just read a similarly comic confession by Mozart in a letter to his day, i feel inspired to attempt a little creative writing…i probably should have written that after, right Lorne, so people might believe we are really going to get married?
I, Heather Tara Stein, a poor, humble and ungrateful student and blogger in cyberspace, beseech my readers (all 3 of you) to forgive me for concealing the true depth of feeling i have been surpressing for the past 4 years as regards Lorne Ferguson, current resident of Lennoxville born in Notre-Dame-de-Grace. Ever since the first time i witnessed his act of essential manliness by baring his legs in the extreme winter cold, i have been forced to hide my true feelings. Please forgive this act of falsehood and pretention towards yourselves who merit so much more than such a despicable act of meanness. Lorne has been the idol in my dreams, the reason i get up in the morning and my last thought at night. Were i able to tear myself away from adoring his ability to mesmerize crowds with fantabulous stories, grin with a chipped tooth and proudly strut around in a class filled with 14 girls and only himself, i would. But alas, i cannot. In peninence for this heinous crime, i propose to devote the next hour and a half of my life to studying for my arab history midterm though i would much rather be in bed. adieu, farewell and best wished.